My name is Paul, I’m 30 years old, and I’ve been overweight most of my life. I currently weight 325 pounds, which means that according to the American government’s health standards I am morbidly obese. At this rate, I already know my cause of death will be a heart attack. With all this weight, it’s a foregone conclusion. That’s scary.
What scares me even more, is that I don’t remember a time when I haven’t felt like this. I look at pictures of myself 4-5 years ago (when I weighed a sprightly 250) and I don’t see a difference between myself then and now. Sure, I can look at pictures from high school and I see how much less I weighed, but the truth is, I felt overweight and out-of-shape then in the same way that I do now. Which means that when I look in the mirror today, I see the same overweight, out-of-shape person I’ve always seen. That loss of objectivity is terrifying.
Is my self image so poor because of my weight, or is my weight out of control because my self-image is so poor? For years I’ve operated on the belief that my fear was a result of my weight. It’s only recently that I’ve begun to understand that I’ve been using my weight as an excuse for my fear. I look back and I realize I’ve passed up countless opportunities because I was either too ashamed of my weight, or felt too out-of-shape to participate. All of those missed experiences are my wasted life, and it’s time to start taking them back.
So today I am going to start a new life. One where I control my weight, instead of feeling like it controls me. I don’t know what this new life will be exactly, I haven’t figured all of that out yet, but I’m excited to see what it brings. At the same time, I’m afraid; afraid that this will end up as just one more failed attempt at getting my weight under control.
That fear led me to create this site. With my goals clearly stated, and this site sent to all my friends and family, there’s nothing more to be ashamed of except a failure to reach my goal. With code to accurately calculate my total calories, weight, & bmi, I regain my objectivity. And with the ability to add updates from any computer, including my phone, there’s never an excuse not update it.